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How to attract your future husband

Getting married to a perfect man is a dream for many women. Her knight in shining armor suddenly shows up and sweeps her off of her feet. Often times the waiting gets real long and the time expected to be married passes by. Discouragement can set in and she may feel like love will never find her. Some women believe that a good man is hard to find, but in reality a good man is not hard to find, they are actually all around. The problem may be that all the wrong ones are being attracted. According to Dating.about.com the law of attraction is the philosophy that one's actions, behaviors and thoughts attract certain events and people into our lives. It was also described as creating a life that would attract the kind of people one would want to associate with

If the law of attraction is true. How can one avoid attracting Mr. Wrong, and what are the steps to attract Mr. Right? If you find yourself asking this question or know someone who does; these steps are for you, a how to guide to attracting your husband to be.

    What do you want?

ü  The first step to any change is having a clear understanding of what you want. Knowing your own needs and desires are key in being able to distinguish between when a guy is a wrong fit opposed to the right fit for your life. A great way to know what you need is to write a list. It sounds crazy, but writing a list for your husband is the same concept as writing a business plan. You cannot possibly know all that you need for your business without jotting everything down and counting the cost. The same is for love. Love is very valuable. Some people may calculate certain characteristics of love as being more profitable than others.

What works for me in my relationship may not work for you. So, every eligible bachelorette who desires to one day tie the knot, should have a list of needs and wants.

   Self-Reflection

ü  Starts with you:

Now that you wrote down some things about what you absolutely need and some things that you want. Reflect on those things and begin to examine you. Take a good look at your life. Are you living out those things that you desire in character or of your future husband?  If not, it is a great time to start. Be completely honest with yourself while reflecting on your list.

ü  Be what you want:

Get a personal journal and write down those things that need improvement. Start with one thing on the list at a time and begin change. Record your progress in your journal. This will help you see growth over time.  

      Let it go

ü  Separate from people who are the wrong fit.  If you are still with Mr. Wrong, please cut him loose. People who are not designed for your present can block your future.

ü  Get clear of pain and old hurts:

A positive cognitive view of the world is very important. You are what you think. When a person sees through eyes of pain they can have someone who is perfect right in front of them, but their view of the world is blocking them from seeing the love that is in front of them.

It is very important to be forgiving to those who may cause pain so that the pain and hurt that they cause does not control the love and the joy that is available right now. Free up your heart and mind of hurt and pain.

ü  Take some time to be by yourself:

This does not mean stay at home, never leave the house, or don’t go out with friends. This means you do not need a man to be happy. Enjoy life without a companion. Get comfortable being single for at least a good six months. Yes, six months!

During those six months, a healing process takes place. You can reflect on those things that you love and change some things that you are not too fond of.

    Love being with you

ü  Take yourself out:

Love you. There is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself.  Take yourself out on a date. Spend some time doing the things that are of interest to you. If singing is interesting, take a singing lesson. Get in touch with those things you like to do that truly make you smile.

ü  Take care of your body:

This does not mean get on a diet. It does not mean lose weight, this means to take care of your body.

·         Get plenty of sleep.

·         Eat things that give you energy and make you            feel  good.

·         Let go of unhealthy habits that put your health at       risk.

ü  Dress for success:

Every person is different and has different needs. The way you dress for success may be different from someone else. The idea behind this is to find the clothes that work for you and make you feel beautiful. The clothes that tells a story about you. When people see you they should know the type of person you are by the way you wear your clothes. This applies at home. You can be comfortable and feel beautiful at home as well. You don’t need to feel beautiful just when a man is around. Practice embracing your beauty when it is just you.

      Be financially stable

ü  Get comfortable living alone:

It would be a good idea to have a feel for what it takes to be financially independent. Getting familiar with financially supporting yourself without the emotional attachment of a man is crucial in knowing what you need financially from your future husband. One of the major problems that can lead to divorce in a marriage is financial issues. How close will you need him to work with you when it comes to finances really depends on how stable you are in your knowledge and security of the subject.

ü  Set financial personal goals:

Having financial benchmarks are important. If you are not going anywhere financially or don’t have an overall idea of what it looks like, ending up with someone who has no financial future plan is inevitable. Your goal may not be to be wealthy and have a lot of money. That may not be a need for you. However, you do desire to eat and live securely. What does your plan for that look like? If you know what that looks like already, when Mr. Wrong shows up outside the safe boundaries of that plan you will be fully aware of it. When Mr. Right comes you will have some understanding of how to work a plan.

ü  Clear your debt:

One of the leading conflicts in marriage is finances. It is better to get clear of anything that could potentially weigh down a relationship with issues. If the debt cannot be totally cleared. It is a good idea to maintain healthy control over it. Let it not be something that can weigh you down. You don’t want to attract someone who is just going to rescue you from your financial obligation, giving you a quick feel good. You want to be clear of needing to be rescued. Needing someone to rescue you can get in the way of actually attracting someone who is nice in character as well as having a good financial plan for his life.  Avoid falling for that rescue relationship by being stable before Mr. Right shows up. The confidence and security will attract the right guy to you.

  

  Declutter your life

ü  Set your house in order:

Is your home a safe haven? Create an environment for yourself that is good to come home to. Clear out your room of unnecessary shoes and clothes. Fix up your house and make it look good and smell nice. Make sure your house is accessible and comfortable. Living in a clutter free house now will help your relationship later. If your home is loving, warm, and great to come home to now, it sets the stage for your house you’re your future spouse.

  Don’t settle

ü  Be patient:

Now that you are the best version of you, make sure you don’t fall for the first guy who shows interest in you. Remember what you deserve. Time will tell if a person is real. Give yourself time to truly get to know his character and watch his true self be revealed in time.

ü  Get to know him:

Don’t be won over by words. Know him long enough to see the way he interacts in tough situations. It is important to see him interact with family and friends. Watch for good character. If He is a great person but does not have the qualities that you need don’t settle.

ü  Keep your standards:

Wait to have sex. Sex tends to affect your ability to get to know someone before attachment. It is easy to get caught up in emotions and not really keep to your desire in a man’s character or ability to communicate in a way that you need. Eventually, the emotional high can ware off and you may have to suffer the consequences of overlooking the red flags due to a spike in emotional passion, rather truly liking him and having a friendship.

  Be happy

ü  Enjoy the moments you have now:

Love life! Enjoy all the good things in your life right now. Having a guy does not make things good. The great things in life are good just because they are. A spouse just keeps you company while you enjoy them. A spouse is a good thing in life, but a spouse does not create the good things in life. It is important to know that now. If a woman marries a man simply because he makes her feel happy that marriage is bound to fail. There will be a time when that man will do something to make her unhappy. Happiness comes from gratitude. When a person is grateful they notice the simple pleasures in life and can enjoy them and be thankful for them. Be happy now, not later. Happiness is attractive. When you are happy you tend to be around happy people.

ü  Give back:

Giving makes you happy. Finding a cause that meets a need in someone else’s life is a great way to stay grounded in true happiness.

ü  Know your purpose:

If you know what you are born to do. And love doing it. You will be able to do life happily with or without a spouse. A husband would be a bonus to the joy you already have for life.

                                                                                                                     

Recap: Attracting Mr. Right is not hard to do. All you have to do is know what you want, self-reflect, let go of the hurt, love being with you first, be financially stable, declutter, don’t settle, and be happy.

When you love yourself, have a positive outlook on life, and have standards and goals set for your love life, you’ll be ready to attract Mr. Right in no time.

Remember you are a beautiful gift from God.  There is only one you in this entire world. Let the guy you fall for be worth the Journey. He needs to be one special Guy because you have the rest of your life discovering how to love each other the way God designed. 

For more on this topic check out www.facebook.com/sistahfied

Thank you for checking out the Blog....

Remember if you are BLESSED

......and YOu know your BLESSED

YOu can't be Stressed 

Soooooooooo Stay Blessed Y'all!!!

KenyaDENESE

How To Handle Your Haters in 2016...

Photo of 1 Samuel 17 found from google search 

Has someone ever made you feel like you didn’t know how to do something but you really did know how to do it?

 Well, that is what happened to David in the bible story David and Goliath

 (1 Samuel 17).

David was a shepherd boy who spent his time looking after his father’s sheep. He was the Youngest of 8 brothers. His brothers were soldiers in the Israelite army, led by King Saul. The Israelite army were preparing to fight against the Philistine army, but they had one BIG problem. GOLIATH! Goliath was a giant and a big bully. He marched around mocking and threatening them saying, “Who will beat me? If you beat me the Philistines will be your servants; if I beat you, the Israelite's will be our servants.” He continued to taunt and mock them. Everyone was afraid of him. No one was brave enough to fight him.


Meanwhile David’s father prepared some food and told David to take it to his brothers. When David arrived he found out about Goliath's challenge and that there was no one who was willing to fight because they were afraid. So, David said, “I’ll do it, I’ll fight Goliath." That made his oldest brother mad. His brother, furious, told him to go back to taking care of his little sheep because he could not beat Goliath. David didn’t understand his hostility. He overlooked them and went to ask King Saul to fight Goliath. King Saul looked at him and said, "I can’t let you fight him, look at you, your just a boy. You can’t beat him he is a Giant and a grown man who has been fighting since he was a young boy." David Said, “I can beat him. I killed a lion and a bear while protecting my sheep. Goliath will be easy to beat." So King Saul said, "Okay you can fight, but wear my armor." King Saul took off his armor and gave it David to wear for the fight. But Saul’s armor was way too big. David couldn’t move right in it. He took it off. David got some rocks and a sling shot and headed to fight Goliath.

When Goliath saw David, he began to insult him. “You mean to tell me you’re going to fight me with those rocks, ha, ha, ha” He mocked. David looked at Goliath with no fear, and said, “Today you are going down buddy, you're about to die.” He took a rock put it in the slingshot and, swish, swish, swish, he started spinning it around. He flung the rock toward Goliath, and bang! The rock hit him right in the forehead! The giant went down in one shot. David won and saved all his people from being slaves to the Philistines.

Everyone in this world has a gift and a purpose on this earth. Someone may aspire to be an author, doctor, teacher, singer, mother, father, husband, or wife, whatever it is God aspire's you to do, you can do. Never let anyone say that you can’t do it, because you can.


Just like David, you may have to face people or situations like his big brothers that make you doubt your ability and purpose -- Hater’s! Those who look down on you and try to make you believe you can’t do it. They may literally tell you that you are not qualified and try to persuade you to walk away from your destiny like you don't belong. Don't Believe it. Believe God.

You may even run into people like King Saul, those people who are negative influences. King Saul took off his armor and put it on David. Don’t let anyone change who you are and what you aspire to be. Be comfortable being you. You are the best person qualified to be you. Be the leader in your own dream.

If God has given you a vision, stick to it. Saul didn't see David defeat that lion and bear with his bare hands, but David did.  There are some things in all of our lives that has prepared us for what we are destined to do on this earth. God knows your story. Your credit is good with him. God has a greater plan in store. Stay humble and just do what you know is right before your Heavenly Father. Don't change who you are and what you want to do for the approval of man. Take off the ideas and judgments of others today like David took off Saul's armor, and be your self... Your approval comes from God.

Lastly, you are going to have to face your fears (those giants in life) … Face those obstacles that stand in your way like that Goliath. Know that you have everything you need from God to do what you aspired to do and don’t let fear block you. 

Take your rock( that book, your song, your business, that idea.) Be the best mom, wife, person you can be. Do just like David did with his sling shot, and make a difference in this world. Solve a problem in your community that you are gifted to solve. Help someone that you were born to Help.

That little sling shot might have been small to everyone else, but it made a big difference.

Never underestimate the impact your gifts and talents can make in this world.

If you cease being who you were created to be, you will miss the opportunity to be a blessing to whom God designed you to be a blessing to.

Be you!

Review: 

How to handle your haters.

1: Ignore and over look ....Do what you know is right, and pay no attention to doubt.

2: Be yourself. Don't let negative circumstances or people change who you are and what you know is the right thing to do.

3: Walk by faith and face your fear. If you don't do it, It won't get done. Face the giants in your life knowing that God has your back.

Thanks for checking out the blog :)

Have a wonderful Blessed New Year!!!.... 

Remember,

If you are Blessed and you know you're blessed 

You can't be stressed...

Soooooo, Stay BLESSED!!!

KenyaDENESE

love ME!!!...

People love others the way they love themselves. That is why it is important not to judge others, because they maybe loving you with all they have and the best way they know how.

Word of God says, He answered, "'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'"

In all honesty everyone has  gone through  circumstance that has wounded them at some point in life. We are all dressed up. Look good on the outside, but are wounded, hurt and scared on the inside. Some more or less than others. But we are all dealing with something or has dealt with something at some point that caused some form of pain or hurt.

 We come across each other and think hey, this is a cool person. But when we really get to know each other and find somethings about one another we do not like. It's really easy to look and say I am so done. I have seen enough. That is not  the kind of person I need in my life right now.  

Now, In some cases it is important to have certain boundaries with certain people. Use the wisdom God has given us to choose people in our lives that are not going to suck the life out of us. But on the flip side there are people that are ordained to be in our lives that God put there for a specific reason and we could be running from that relationship. Or maybe we know God has placed someone  in our lives who has distanced themselves from us. Relationship issues are inevitable.

My question to God  is "Why" God? What is the purpose of this relationship and what are you truly trying to teach me about how I love myself and how I am loving others? 

In some relationships we find that we are encountering a very selfish person. In other cases we are fighting against our on selfish tendencies. But the bottom line in any case boils down to LOVE. God is showing us how to love ourselves or how to LOVE Others. The way we love others is an indicator of what is going on inside of ourselves.  

There is just no possible way to love others if there is no love in us to Love. Love is a learned behavior. Some of us have had great teachers, some of us have had horrible teachers, and some of us are along the middle. But all in all you can not give to others what you truly do not possess yourself. 

That's why the word says Love the Lord your God first, with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. Cause when we learn about Loving Him it's, through Him we learn what true love is. Draw from His love and being in relationship with Him teaches us how to love others. It's learn and we practice living it out.We demonstrate the same love He shows us to others. But if we don't know how loved and valuable  we are to God, how can we show others?

 If I have low self worth I cannot  give or show someone their self worth. If I am critical and have been taught to be critical then I'm  gonna constantly criticize others.  I change that when I realize hey I'm am critical. I don't like being this way to myself it has effected my life in a negative way and I want to change. I am gonna be more positive.Once I realize that and practice it daily,  then I'll become a positive person. And it would be easier to be positive to others, cause through God I'll see myself in a better way and it will come across naturally to others.  

Another example, if I only have five dollars. I can not give anyone 20 dollars. I have to earn more money or borrow it from someone else.

It's the same in every situation. You can not give what you do not have. Luke 6:45 says, 
A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.

It also says in James 3:12-13, "12 My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

13Who is wise and understanding among you? Let them show it by their good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from wisdom. "

People love from where they are, and have grown in life. 

There are two women in the bible who give us a great lesson on this.  Martha and Mary! Martha had Jesus as a guest at her home. She was busy preparing dinner at her home for Jesus and She looked and saw that Mary wasn't helping her. Mary was just sitting listening to Jesus talk and wasn't helping her sister prepare stuff. Martha looked and said to Jesus, aren't you gonna tell her to help me. Jesus said to her No, your busy doing that. She chose the right thing to do. 

It's is easy to be like Martha and criticize the way other people are. When there actually giving their best. We are to do what it is our Best and do it before God with out judging others.

So I guess I am saying, lets not judge others on why they are the way they are. Or the way we want them to be.  Just LOVE. Love people right where they are. We truly do not know how much a person has come. If there is a person in our lives we can not stand or maybe they cannot  stand us. LOVE! 

We must remember we need a little more Jesus! We are all so imperfect and do some of the most off the hook things on occasion because of hurts and issues that God is cleaning us all up from.  We all simply need LOVE unconditionally. 

This is not a NOTE to promote self pity or justify wrong doing from others, and say it is Okay for people to do wrong. The bible says you know them by their fruit, so if you are examining someone's fruit and character and discover they are a little low on the right ones such as, love, joy, peace, long suffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance, which is written in Galatians 5:22-23

We are to sow good fruit.   According to dictionary.com sow means to; 

1.

to scatter (seed) over land, earth, etc., for growth; plant.

2.

to plant seed for: to sow a crop.

3.

to scatter seed over (land, earth, etc.) for the purpose of growth.

4.

to implant, introduce, or promulgate; seek to propagate or extend; disseminate: to sow distrust ordissension.

That is what we have to do. Sow kindness, sow love while believing God to do the rest.

Jesus said in John 15,

15 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

9 “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. 10 If you keep my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have kept my Father’s commands and remain in his love. 11 I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. 12 My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.13 Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. 16 You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you. 17 This is my command: Love each other.

Don't be over taken in evil but overcome evil with the Good! Romans 12:21

 The moral of the story is LOVE... We are not God. So we can not see how far a person has come or what God is doing in the lives and heart of those all around us... We must all be available to love even if we don't understand why people are the way they are. We could be missing out on some good relationships and friendships if we allow God to touch our heart to love beyond our comfort zone. 

So let us LOVE and Love unconditionally... 

Be blessed Y'all 

Remember if your are Blessed, and you know your blessed....

You can't be Stressed!!!

Sooooooo Stay BLESSED!!!

KenyaDENESE